What is the worst thing for any woman? When a stranger insults her in front of her husband, among four others, and the husband just stands silently watching. For that woman, having a husband is of no use at all.
I used to call him Mangu Bhaiya. Since he was my husband’s brother-in-law, he was like my own brother. I hadn’t done anything wrong. But when I heard my husband say “Hey, you scoundrel!” to him that morning, I couldn’t stop shaking all day. I was so angry. It hurt me deeply that my own husband was calling him the owner (boss). And while he was insulting me, my husband just kept looking at me. Seeing that, tears immediately welled up in my eyes. Then my husband turned away and started cutting the corn. I felt how helpless we truly were.
In my opinion, what should a husband be like? I have closely observed two men — one is my father, and the other is my husband’s elder brother, who is like my elder brother-in-law. No matter how many people my father was sitting with, if my mother called out, “Hey, come here!” he wouldn’t wait a second. He would immediately get up and come inside the house.
Once, in a fit of anger toward my father, when he wasn’t home, my brother-in-law had an argument with my mother. He tied my brother to a tree and was beating him, saying, “You want to argue with me? Why did you speak to my wife?”
We had chickens. My aunt (father’s sister) used to live right in front of our house. The chickens used to go into her yard and make a mess. Because of this, the two of them would often fight. My mother would talk to my aunt about it, but my father wouldn’t say anything to her, even though she was his own sister. There were constant fights in the house. Sometimes, for one or two months, my mother wouldn’t speak to her and would even be beaten. But outside in the world, she was never left alone.
Our field and the Patil’s field shared the same bund. My mother was grazing buffaloes on the bund. Seeing this, the Patil just said, “Don’t let the buffaloes come near the sugarcane.” When my mother asked why he spoke rudely like that, there was a water-filled ditch by the roadside. My father threw him into it and started beating him. This led to a big fight. The Patil even brought people to attack them, but they didn’t back down. A husband should feel this kind of anger for his wife. When a wife is not valued by her husband, people from both inside and outside the home try to take advantage.
My brother-in-law used to iron his wife’s sarees. He would personally choose the color and get the blouse stitched. When he brought it, he would wrap it in paper and hand it over to his wife. She was a mother of four children. But whenever she went to her maternal home, both of them would go together. Her name was Baby. Whenever there was time to write names, he would write “Bebitai.” If there was a fight between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he would argue with his own mother. If the children caused trouble, he would get up to discipline them. He would bring cream for her face.
We were together for seven years, but I never saw those two argue even once. She used to observe a fast on Tuesdays, but on Monday evening, she would soak sabudana (tapioca pearls) in water in remembrance. And whenever I needed anything, my husband would take me to my maternal home to get it.